


Keloid Scars

by Sai2271



Series: Rat's Sad 2am Brain Children [2]
Category: New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Angst, Established Relationship, First fic for this fandom, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Its probably bad, M/M, Probably ooc, Sad Oma Kokichi, Self-Harm, Suicidal Thoughts, im just sad okay, im sorry, no beta we die like men, the author is projecting, trigger warning, vent fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-01
Updated: 2020-06-01
Packaged: 2021-03-03 00:34:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,685
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24485941
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sai2271/pseuds/Sai2271
Summary: KeloidAlso called: keloidal scarA raised scar after an injury has healedIn which Kokichi doesn't think he deserves Shuichi, Shuichi just wants to help his boyfriend, and they have a tiny heart to heart.
Relationships: Oma Kokichi/Saihara Shuichi
Series: Rat's Sad 2am Brain Children [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1774471
Comments: 3
Kudos: 177





	Keloid Scars

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fic for this fandom. Oumasai/Saiouma has been kinda a comfort ship for me lately, and I have actual prompts planned, but I just got hit with the Big Sad tm, and wanted to project onto a character. I hope you enjoy. Trigger warning for self harm and suicidal thoughts. Descriptions of the wounds are kinda graphic.

The shared bedroom of Kokichi Ouma and Shuichi Saihara was a clash of personalities. On one hand, the walls were a navy blue, and bookshelves filled with murder mysteries and crime books lined those walls. On the other hand, their shared bed has checkered bed sheets, and they had an entire wardrobe full of different items that Kokcihi used for pranks when he was with DICE.

The bed was currently occupied, as it was one in the morning. However, it only contained one person, as Kokichi had slipped out, and was currently sitting on the bathroom floor. His pajamas consisted of an oversized shirt, courtesy of his boyfriend, and his boxers. This did nothing to hide the scars that littered the small boy’s body, from his thighs to his wrists.

Nobody would expect this from the supreme leader, as he always seemed confident in all his endeavors. Maybe from Shuichi, as he was a person very much prone to overthinking and just generally exhibiting anxious behavior, but not from his boyfriend. Kokichi carried himself with an air of absolute confidence, absolute faith in himself. Some would describe him as egotistical, most notably Shuichi’s best friend, Kaito.

Yet here he was, on the bathroom floor, blade in hand. He inspected the scars with a sick fascination. He thought they were ugly, disgusting, signs of weakness. There was no room for that in a leader. Then again, Kokichi lived to defy expectations.

Most scars were shallow, nothing too permanent. He definitely didn’t have every scar he’d ever made on his body. The majority were so small and superficial, they faded in weeks. However, those scars were not the focus of his attention. He was staring at four scars that he had made years ago, but had never left. They were slightly raised, the skin ever so pronounced, just accentuating the pain he had subjected his thin, pale body to.

He noticed they didn’t leave like the other scars, so he looked it up. They were called keloid scars. They came from an excess of scar tissue. Kokichi didn’t pay much attention to them after that, realizing there was no need for concern, but he often found himself running his fingers over the raised scars. It was almost calming, in a morbid way.

He glances over to the clock on his nightstand. 1:47 in the morning. The small boy was used to his insomnia keeping him up, but today was different. He couldn’t sleep because of his insecurities. Insecurities caused by the boy sleeping next to him, the boy he loved so very dearly.

As he tried to fall asleep, he found himself staring into his boyfriend’s face. So very peaceful, so very kind. How could Shuichi fall in love with someone as disgusting, as wretched, as pathetic, as mean as he was? How could he look at those scars and kiss every single one, saying he loved Kokichi anyway? Kokichi had cried that day.

How could he have stolen such an amazing soul from anybody else’s life?

Deciding he wouldn’t be able to sleep anyway, Kokichi crawled out of the bed, trying his best not to disturb his sleeping boyfriend. And that brought him to where he was right now.

He held the thin blade in his hand, extracted from a disposable razor he found thrown in the garbage. It was slightly bent, due to Kokichi using too much pressure as he dug it out from its place, but it worked nonetheless. He turned his attention back to the scars. Those scars that would forever remind him how weak he was. How little he was fit to lead. How terrible he was.

He made a few shallow cuts along his wrists, nothing to leave damage. It quickly occurred to him, as he switched from his left arm to his right, that if he cut too high, it would be seen when the sleeves of his white coat rid up his arms. He opted to cut halfway down his forearm. He watched as the little bubbles of blood erupted from the scars. He set down the razor, and simply watched as the blood pooled. After a minute or so, he grabbed a bit of toilet paper, and held it up to the cuts, to collect the blood. After a few minutes of tapping, they had stopped bleeding. He applied an antibacterial that Shuichi stored in the drawer under their sink.

He finished up his session, ready to head back to bed, when he found himself thinking about the keloid scars again.

Could I make more?

Curiosity got the better of him, and he sat down once again on the tiles of the bathroom. He picked up the blade once again, deciding to cut on his thigh this time. He made a few more cuts, applying a bit more pressure than he usually did. But instead of blood bubbling, the skin opened. And Kokichi panicked.

“Fuck!” he whisper-yelled, slapping a hand over his mouth. Tears pooled in his eyes. What if Shuichi saw him?

He looked down at the scars, once again transfixed by them. Then, a thought popped into his head, this one more terrifying than if Shuichi caught him.

It felt good.

He choked down a sob, covering his mouth with his hand again. If I did this on my wrists, I would die.

I would die.

He couldn’t stop a sob escaping his lips.

Then another.

And then he was crying on the bathroom floor.

Shuichi woke up to the sound of sniffles and sobs, sitting bolt upright in the bed. He looked over to see the bathroom door open, and the lights on. He thought for a moment, pondering why his boyfriend would be crying in the bathroom at 2:11 in the morning, and the conclusion hit him instantly. He rushed over to the small bathroom, and looked down to see the most heart wrenching scene he had ever seen in his life.

Kokichi was sitting there, crying his eyes out, as his thighs bled profusely.

“Kichi, Kichi, what happened?” Shuichi asked, already knowing the answer. He crouched down, cradling his boyfriend’s small face in his hands. He gave Kokichi a moment to collect himself.

“I’m sorry Shumai” he replied, the end of his boyfriend's nickname dragged out by a sob.

Shuichi gave the smaller boy a quick hug before grabbing a first aid kit under the sink. He started with simply cleaning the wounds on his thin thighs with simple gauze, just trying to pick up the blood.

“What happened Kichi?”

His boyfriend sniffled before replying. He didn’t have the energy for his usual snarkiness. He was done with today, and it had just started two hours ago.

“”M just sad,” he started, rubbing his eyes as Shuichi continued cleaning the wounds, “It doesn’t matter…”

Shuichi gave him a stern expression.

“Kokichi, if it made you do this, it matters to me.”

The smaller boy rubbed his eyes again. He mumbled something under his breath.

“What was that?”

“I said I don’t deserve you,” Kokichi said again, trying to sound as serious as he could, not willing to embarrass himself more than he had done so already.  
Shuichi looked up at him in surprise. Before tonight, he never pushed his boyfriend for details, never asking too much. He didn’t need to know why, he just knew he needed to help him. Maybe that was a slight oversight on his part.

But that response had genuinely surprised him.

“If anything, I know I’m not good enough for you,” Shuichi replied honestly.

Now it was Kokichi’s turn to look surprised. “Huh?”

“I mean, you’re smart, and beautiful, and just so funny and amazing. I’ve always thought of myself as kind of average, nothing too special. Yet there you were, calling me your ‘beloved detective’, and ‘Shumai’. I’d had a crush on you for a while before it started, but I never thought that I was good enough for you,” he said, chuckling at the memory, “Yet here I am. A year later, and I’m taking care of you. It’s almost a dream come true... But, I do wish you were happier”

Shuichi had finished wrapping and bandaging his boyfriend’s legs and looked up. Kokichi was crying all over again.

“Hey, hey, hey, what’s wrong? Are you in pain?” he said, concern written all over his face.

Kokichi shook his head. “T-this is w-why I don’t th-think I d-deserve you,” he said between sobs, “Y-you’re just... s-so n-nice... and I d-don’t deserve i-it... a-any of i-it...”

Shuichi relaxed a bit. “Why not?”

At that, Kokichi started straight up wailing.

“Because I’m a liar! And I’m terrible! And disgusting! And you deserve better!” he nearly shouted. He leaned forward, balling Shuichi’s shirt in his fists, letting his head fall into his boyfriend’s chest.

The taller boy ran one hand through Kokichi’s dark purple locks, the other rubbing his back. “You’re not disgusting, you’re not terrible. I know you lie to protect yourself, and we’re working on that together... I chose you not by any obligation, but because I love you, Kichi,” he said, and kept consoling Kokichi until he stopped crying.

He put a hand under Kokichi’s chin, tilting his face up to meet his eyes. Violet eyes peered at him, puffy from crying. He leaned in, giving his boyfriend a soft, tender, ever so loving kiss. Kokichi leaned into it, letting himself be comforted by his boyfriend’s lips. In that moment, he forgot all about his insecurities, because that kiss was filled with all of the affection and love in the world, and Kokichi knew it was for him.  
When the kiss broke apart, Kokichi wrapped his arms around Shuichi’s torso. “... Thank you...” he whispered, exhaustion finally getting to him. He yawned into Shuichi’s chest, and he heard his boyfriend chuckle.

“Wanna go to bed?” the navy haired boy asked.

Kokichi, for the first time that day, gave Shuichi one of his famous, beautiful grins, the type that made Schuichi’s heart melt.

“Only if you carry me! Supreme leaders shouldn’t have to walk anywhere! Nishishi~!”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Let me know what you thought!
> 
> Talk to me, I love making friends!  
> Instagram: @enlargedrodent2271  
> Discord: Rat!!#0739


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